I was on the phone this morning with a friend who was describing how she didn’t want to behave at a prestigious workshop she was about to take:

 

“I think pretty much anybody is not all that interesting when they are trying to be perfect or get someone to like them.”

 

“Rats,” I thought, “Busted, again.”

 

I recently had an experience when I wanted something a lot.

It was like every cell in my body was lined up to prove I was perfect and hoping to be liked.  I didn’t even realize it till afterwards.  Needless to say, things did not go as I’d hoped.

 

I teach acting.  Whenever I start a new class, I offer this to my students: “When you walk through that door, let go of ‘Being Good;’ drop ‘Doing it Right.’  That’s not what we’re doing here.  We’re here to learn.  Relax.  Show up.  Enjoy discovering, with commitment, whatever it is we’re working on.”  When students work that way, truly extraordinary things happen.  Talents are discovered; vibrant artistry takes place, obstacles are overcome.  And what’s more, it’s fun.

 

‘Drop Being Good.’ I say it over and over.

(and when I say “Being Good” I mean being Excellent, not being Moral. Just to be clear.)

 

Okay, so here’s the trap:

You are NEVER at your best when you’re trying to Be Good, Be Right, or Exceptional.  Focusing on Being Good takes the focus off what you’re doing, pretty much guaranteeing you won’t be excellent at it.

So, since it’s not achieving its aim, anyway. Whoo-hoo, we can let it go!

And dang it, we need to be reminded.  I do.  All the time.

 

Any teacher will tell you, it’s a perk of the job that you get to exercise with others, exactly what you need to practice yourself.  

I often teach 17-year-olds. That’s an age when everywhere you go, you are being asked to “measure up” – in school, at home, and with your peers.

I don’t know about you, but there’s a part of me that is terminally 17.

 

So here I am, practicing. 

For me, for you – for the 17-year-old in all of us – to check in with, as needed:

 

For today, you get to let go of Being Good, and focus on being the astonishingly unique, One Among, that you are.  What happens from that place, is true magic.

 

I love this quote, which pretty much nails it:

 

“He did you a favor, your pal, when he told you this secret:  First become ordinary, if you ever wish to become anything else. By Tuesday, you were so splendid the bees arose.”      Kathleen Ossip, The Nature of Things